Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
