shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
