yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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