There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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