in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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