i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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