i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
