It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
