i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
