just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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