We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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