Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
