i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
