I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
