I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
