"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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