I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
