I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you inspire me to be a worse person
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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