so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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