sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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