so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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