The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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