Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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