Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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