Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
