He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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