We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
