There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
