Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Will you blow on my dice?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
