Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
