Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
