honey bunches of taint.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
