Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize