If i come over, it means nothing
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
