Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
