So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
