do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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