Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
