He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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