Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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