I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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