i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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