So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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