its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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