Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
