her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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