and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i out mim tonsoeep
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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