you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
