i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
