12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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