I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
