Will you blow on my dice?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
