Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
