Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
