ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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