btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
