i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
